Thank you U.S Consulate in Melbourne for turning my passport into your kids arts and crafts project

I recently had to make a trip to the U.S. Consulate in Melbourne because I filled my passport and needed four blank visa pages for my Ecuador Visa (I’ll explain what’s happening in Ecuador in another blog). I paid $82 dollars for them to add 48 pages to my passport. Anyone with a passport might think, 48 more pages, how does that fit? Answer: It doesn’t. This is what my passport now looks like

My new overstuffed passport

Note the alternation between my old, water damaged, stained pages, and the crisp new blue pages that look like I literally took a glue stick and put them in myself. But that’s not all, on each page, they for some reason didn’t want the words “under seal” to be printed. So instead of printing new pages for me, they just went in with a black pen and crossed it out on every page.

Yes. A job well done U.S. Consulate. Professional indeed. I’m sure I won’t have any problems going through customs in the future. Cheers for that.

It’s 2 a.m. and I’m exhausted. I know what I’ll do, buy my own domain name!

So sitting at my kitchen table, exhausted after the 45 minute uphill bike ride that is my commute home from work, I find myself with my laptop, a jar of peanut butter, a glass of red wine, and a cup of peppermint tea. At 2 a.m. Nothing out of the ordinary here. Since I am too tired to go to bed, I start perusing the internet (to say “internet” is perhaps a bit broad, as I really never get past gmail or facebook in my idle wanderings) whereby I end up seeing a recent post on a friend’s blog I have never read.

…Maybe acquaintance is a more appropriate word.

Halfway down my second glass of Cabernet Merlot I think, hey, maybe I should get a blog going again since I’ll be on the road again soon. A few more spoonfuls of peanut butter and next thing I know I’m purchasing my own domain name. That’s right b*tches. Aaaaallll mine.

Not because I have anything particularly amazing to get out there that requires the sort of worldwide exposure that only the internet can facilitate, but mainly because I might. Someday. And if/when that day comes I don’t want some other Shannon Berner floating out there higher up on google searches than me. Let her be Shannon Underscore Berner.

In the meantime, since I’m the first Shannon Berner (not historically speaking of course), here ya go kids.

So, what happens now? Well, I haven’t quite gotten that far yet. I think there’s still some peanut butter in the cupboard…